TO BE CONTINUED (^^,)

“And they lived happily ever after…” Not only are such “endings” erroneous, they are conceivably misleading. For starters, “happily ever after” is hardly ever the end of the story. It’s more of a “pause for applause”; “to be continued”; “end of season” “get your popcorn refill” type thing. Accepting that part of the story as “The END” is to imply that your life is over once the bouquet is tossed and it rains rice & confetti. People with that kind of mentality are the ones most likely to do something stupid right before their wedding. On the contrary, people who don’t consider it that big of a deal are most likely to behave stupidly after the wedding! I have been happily married for a little over five months now and I spoke for the first time to a room full of young people. While I was preparing my analogy, my husband (still getting used to calling somebody that as opposed to a handy man that won’t go away haha) and I were talking about defining moments and how each of us has our own. It got me wondering what my defining moment was and if I somehow missed and never allowed it to define me. Sometimes it takes a long time before we realize just how significant such moments were to our stories. A defining moment is an event that typifies or determines all subsequent related occurrences. By definition, defining moments reveal us, test us and ultimately shape who we are. Once I sat down to think it through, I realized our lives are a series of defining moments. I’m yet to discover whether my first clumsy “sermon” recently was a defining moment but that’s an off topic hehe. I can arguably identify at least five defining moments in my adult life that seem to umbrella a whole lot of things that made me who and got me where I currently am. In order of occurrence: 1. Quitting my radio job-a terrifying yet liberating experience. Up until that moment, radio had been what made me who I was. It was all I knew. I had no plan and no idea what I was going to do next, yet strangely felt I had to jump off the plane with no parachute. I fail to explain this in a rational manner, just don’t try it (^^,). A move which saw me reading a whole lotta books and finishing my degree(s) in Christian Counseling. 2. Losing my dad had always been my greatest fear, and seeing him graduate from this life made me brave enough to do some things I had always been petrified to do. Such as: 3. Registering my own company-which proved to be a lot less complicated than I first imagined. Like this blog, I relish the idea of calling my own shots. Well, kinda (^^,). 4. Publishing my first book, which “welcomed me to the world of authors” as was stated in an article carried by the National Paper. 5. Getting married: which contributes in part (a very small part haha) to my follow-up book, was probably the biggest “project” I had ever undertaken. I made myself believe I would never get worked up the way that “typical” brides do. Epic fail (^^,). For those of you who are not yet engaged, or are just beginning the process, keep remembering that your wedding is the beginning of a new chapter, and should not be the ultimate goal. Once the delightful D-Day floats magically by, the congratulatory sentiments stop pouring in, the wedding presents are all opened, the thank you’s duly accorded & the spotlight moves on to the next royal couple; the newly wed bliss fizzles out, stuff that mattered to you may no longer matter and stuff that didn’t matter will begin to. Soon you discover that men and women really are from different planets! LoL! I highly recommend premarital counseling. The effectiveness of which can be gauged by how well and quickly it can poke that necessary pin into your fairy tale bubble and ensure that “that one amazing day” will not be your sole focal point but remains just that; one amazing day. Instead of “happily ever after,” counselees can and probably should flitter off into the sunset expecting to at least “live long & happy together with some good days (that make you grateful for your new life with your mate) and bad days (when neither of you feel the warm fuzzies) in between.” Marriage reveals you; tests you & ultimately shapes who you are. Oh, and my husband approves this blog entry! ;-)